Chronicles of Cheeky and the Devil

Scraps of fancy: Vortex

2009-03-18T16:18:00.005+05:30

As he sat on his white plastic chair in the corridor of the apartment he lived in with his outstretched legs resting on the parapet, holding a cigarette in one hand and and a book in another, the music from his room flew past him and several thoughts flooded his clouded mind and corresponding images flashed before his eyes. He took a long drag on his cigarette and blew out the smoke slowly, enjoying every bit of nicotine in it. He focused on the plumes of smoke making their way through the trees into the sky until he could no longer see anything but the stars in the night sky. There was a stability and comfort that he derived from solitude. He would kill everyone if it meant he would never die.

Moments of lucidity: The eye speaks

2009-03-18T02:52:00.002+05:30

I position myself so that I can tackle the opponent making the run with the ball at his feet. For a split-second, I make eye-contact.

Two pairs of eyes locked at each other, each trying to out-guess the other. A tinge of pride, a tinge of fear in them. A moment of weakness in one pair, the glint of recognition and disdain in the other.

I lunge forward to tackle. I miss completely.

Sometimes, football is a test of one's spirit. You win some, you lose some.

To the grey pilgrim

2008-03-06T05:44:00.000+05:30

I don't watch a lot of movies. I don't know why. Perhaps it's just that I hardly get into a mood for one. Or maybe it's because they get into my head. Once in a while, I watch one when someone recommends it.

The movies that Olorin, Popup, the grey pilgrim recommends have never disappointed me. I 'll go on to say that the man has an impeccable taste when it comes to movies. I remember how I fell in love with the movie called Garden State after he suggested it. It was simply beautiful. Today, I watched this Indie musical called Once. Brilliance. Incidentally, both these movies have amazing award winning soundtracks.

I hope to watch many more good ones and well, I know just the right person to go to.

Judgement day

2008-02-22T09:24:00.000+05:30

No, I'm not talking about the Arnold Schwarzenegger movie. In fact I just titled the post so because it had the word judgement in it. Then what is this all about? Well, judgement(s).

Over the last three years I've heard the word so many times that I am kind of fed up of it. Almost every time it has been used in a very negative sense, especially in reference to one person "judging" another. I am not really sure of what it means though. But a lot of people seem to know what it is and don't seem too happy about it. I think everyone does pass some sort of judgement on people they meet and interact with. Sometimes, it's based on the first impression that a person has on someone and sometimes it's formed over a longer period of time. A lot of times it is, in fact, not done consciously. What's wrong in doing it? I don't know. I don't even think it's a big deal. Then again, so many people seem to have a problem with it. I wonder why. Well, maybe I've got the definition wrong.

I look at someone doing stupid things repeatedly and I call him a stupid person. Suddenly there are so many people telling me that's mean of me and that I am judging him/her and that I'm not supposed to do it. Well, how does my analysis of someone going to affect him/her? He/she will feel bad? Perhaps. That is if I tell the person in question directly. But then it's what I truly believe. What can I possibly do about it? I could, as I do most of the time, keep it to myself. It still doesn't change anything. The act has been carried out. I do understand that it creates barriers between people but what can I do? Bottom line - if I am wrong, then it's my loss. Besides, maybe something will change the way I think about that person.

And coming to people who seem to have a huge problem with people judging others, they are in effect passing a judgement on a person because he/she judges others. Simply because they think judging someone is wrong. Isn't there some sort of contradiction here? A touch of hypocrisy perhaps?

And another point is that one's judgements aren't always on the negative side. And people who accuse people of judging others have a problem only when the judgement is negative. If it's something positive, they don't seem to have any problem. I do not get that.

Blah. The end.

Footnote: Apologies for the vague post and all the badly constructed sentences. And yes, I know I don't have to explicitly say that this is a footnote. But I will. Call it a whim.

Snippets

2008-02-10T16:49:00.000+05:30

Think about a man on an island that's thousand miles away from the nearest city, with practically no connection whatsoever to other people. No exchange of goods, no communication, nothing. Is it possible to experience how that feels when you're living in a crowded place with lots and lots of people you know around you? Perhaps.
---
There are three classes of people in the world, a rough classification while we're at it. There are people who can observe phenomena and processes and see the underlying patterns, understand them to a great extent but cannot create those patterns at will, there are those who can create the beautiful patterns and then there are the rest. And for those who belong to the first category, life can be quite a bitch.
---
I've seen people who live in a huge mess when it comes to their rooms/home. They have no idea about where they can find what they want; clothes, books, stationery, everything strewn all around the place. Yet they are excellent when it comes to organizational abilities. I've always felt strange about it. Being a person who keeps his room clean, I sometimes feel a pang of envy when I think about these people. It'd probably be fun to live in a mess but I just cannot get myself to do it.
---
I wrote this exam called GATE today for totally monetary reasons. I couldn't help feeling so heavily bored during the utterly drab exam. Why can't we have exams that hold our interest for at least as long as their bloody duration?
---
A friend of mine sent me a couple of songs from this movie 'Juno' a couple of days back. Beautiful songs. I had to watch the movie after listening to them and I did. And was it a good movie or what?! If you like good drama and dark humour, it's a highly recommended watch. Ellen Page has done a terrific job with the lead role. One cannot help but find her oh-so-cute.
---
Another friend of mine put up a post on his blog recently, a one-liner so concise and succinct. Brilliance.

Thresholds and memories

2007-11-05T05:12:00.000+05:30

There are thresholds everywhere be it electronics, mechanics, or even human emotions. Beyond a certain point things just don't matter. Words remain just words and events just events. They have no effect on you. No pleasure, no pain, nothing. Strangely, a lot of people don't understand this. Even those who are considered to be good at dealing with people. They love telling you stuff that you simply don't want to hear because they think it's good for you. And they feel smug about having done a good deed which in this case is helping you out. Half the times they have no idea about what you're going through, what you're thinking, why you think the way you do and why you are the way you are. One big problem lies in the fact that you cannot explicitly tell them what you feel. Because then you become a mean person in their eyes, a person who doesn't care for their opinion.

Sometimes you just don't see any point in manipulating things under your control. Especially when you consider the fact that there are so many other factors over which you have absolutely no control whatsoever. When this happens, the condescending and dismissive ones out there conclude that you need to grow up. The result is that you end up with defense mechanisms. Like a porcupine that doesn't really intend to harm others but has deadly quills all over itself. And that's the end of the story.

I remember a line from a movie I watched recently. It goes something like this. Everything is illuminated in the light of the past. But again, beyond a certain limit even memories lose their significance in your life. Everyone loves romanticizing and glorifying their past. Memories create an illusion of your life being full and much better than it actually is. They make people feel good about themselves by giving them ego boosts. I've noticed that photographs make an event that occurred look much happier than it was when it actually happened. Sometimes I wonder if this is also the reason behind confabulation.

Oh well! People are strange. Very strange.

Making sense isn't as easy as it sounds, is it?

2007-06-18T23:12:00.000+05:30

There are times when you're out shopping and you find something that catches your eye. It may be a nice pair of sandals or a nice wallet. Everything about it seems like it was made just to suit your need and mood. But then you pick it up and find one tiny label that just kills the whole thing! Why, oh lord, should it have the label! If it weren't there you'd have shelled out whatever the store demanded but no. It's there and there is nothing you can do about it.

It's exactly the same feeling that hits you when you're watching a movie or listening to a song, perhaps, and everything is amazing before something incredibly stupid and out of place happens. Or when you're eating your favourite dish and some strong flavoured ingredient completely spoils it. Why can't they leave that scene out? Why do they have to put a 'la lala la' chorus in between? Beats me.

You cannot erase what you don't want as much as you'd love to. It shall be there, forever. It's a recurring theme in life, I guess.

Cultural enrichment

2007-03-25T18:17:00.000+05:30

If we take a random bunch of people and analyze their cultural backgrounds, we're bound to find a lot of differences. It may be due to the fact that they were brought up in different environments or maybe because they met different people(from other 'cultural' domains) in life. I wonder how one can enrich his culture so to speak. And what is this enrichment anyway?

At some level, culture is defined by the way a set of intelligent humans interact with each other, their behavioral patterns and activities. So, the way a person reacts to different situations with different individuals or groups has some sort of correlation with his cultural fabric. Now, coming to how one can enrich himself culturally. Some methods that are widely accepted are the following. One could read literature written by articulate people from different areas of the world or from different time-lines. One could watch movies and serials that serve as some sort of a window to the world. One could listen to different music genres. But does this really help?

Isn't meeting new people and exchanging ideas the way to go about it? I mean, you can't really take something that someone says at its face value, can you? Again, how can one be sure that this is an unbiased way to go about it? The books that those people read, the movies and serials they watch, the bands they listen to, all that is influencing you indirectly, right? And of course, you can't really meet all the people in the world. Is a person who follows some ideals that he formulated based on his limited exposure to people, art and literature culturally backward as compared to someone who has better access?

Anthropologists try to classify the different components of culture to be values, norms, institutions and artifacts. Aren't these functions of the geographical location of a society, the era one is in, etc? Is there a set of values and norms that is universal and independent of everything?

A lot of emotions and instincts are actually universal. For example, honesty, trust and faith are considered to be important everywhere. Most people get angry, happy and sad for quite similar reasons. Breaking one's trust is considered as something that is 'wrong' by most people in the world. I shall not dwell into the topic of what is 'right' even though it might be related to culture. Considering this, isn't it plausible that there is a universal time-independent set of values?

In that case what is enrichment? Getting as close as possible to that ideal set?

And I am done documenting my train of thought.

The beach

2007-02-16T00:48:00.001+05:30

Tomorrow is a holiday. That means I'm on a break from the hectic academic calendar. A short one.

I went to the beach with Guggu. Ate burgers, walked on the beach, saw footprints on the sand, felt the wind strike me ever so gently, looked at the stars, looked at waves canceling each other out, ate groundnuts, rode a motorcycle on the campus roads.

It felt good.

Jimmy

2007-02-06T22:32:00.000+05:30

I had a pet dog. Jimmy, he was called. I killed him.
Yes. My hands are covered with his blood.
The pleasure.

I tied him to the balcony of my house.
He looked magnificent. Pure-bred. A class apart.
I took a knife. A sharp one.

Gouged his eyes out. Blood spurted from the orifice.
Beautiful brown eyes they were.
He yelped. In agony.

I broke his legs. One by one. Crushed them with a stone.
The legs on which he stood tall.
He barked. In pain. He struggled. In vain.

I cut open his stomach. I severed his head off.
A faithful dog he had been.
Jimmy could yell no more.

Comics and graphic novels

2007-02-06T06:41:00.000+05:30

I spent my childhood in the quintessential Indian middle-class style, a rather simple life with a good focus on academics. Driven by my parents' enthusiasm, I participated in each and every extra-curricular activity around, be it public speaking, dance, quizzing and even reciting the Gita; I read a lot of general knowledge books and some standard novels. It so happened that my exposure to western pop-culture was quite limited, and while a lot of kids my age were stacking up Tintin, Asterix and Archies comics, I was quite content with our very own Tinkle, Amar Chitra Katha and Chacha Chowdhury.

As I grew up the Tinkle phase gradually fizzled out but the kiddo image of comics stuck. Not until I came to college did the comics-are-for-kids idea change. My introduction to the concept of a graphic novel left me in a strange sense of awe. It was when I read Frank Miller's Sincity that I realized the sheer power of the visual stimulus that is an integral part of comics[1]. I fell in love with comics then and there. I cannot agree more when they say a picture is worth a thousand words. The emotions that a caricature or a painting evokes is just incredible. How the illustrator fashions thousands of variations of an expression, subtle and drastic, with just a few strokes, splashes and dots is something that never ceases to amaze me. Replicating the same intensity using just words is an extremely daunting task and I'm not really sure if it can actually be achieved. But again, the beauty of a comic lies in the fact that it also allows for exaggeration to a great degree when intended.

This led to my collecting soft-copies of comics, the pre-dominant sources being friends who download them off the net. Though very small, I like the assortment of works of varying artistic quality and complexity of story-lines that I've gathered which include the works of master story-tellers Frank Miller, Neil Gaiman, Alan Moore, Garth Ennis, Warren Ellis, Will Eisner and brilliant illustrator-writers like Kyle Baker. The urge to expand the collection is irresistible and nothing seems to be enough. I'm pretty sure I'll splurge on hard copies of the same once I start earning.

Comics are manifestations of the highest quality of art. Pure art! What can I say except that the obsession, if I may call it one, is here to stay.

[1]I have used the word 'comic' to describe all forms of comics and graphic novels.

There is something about the game

2007-01-04T16:27:00.000+05:30

After a semester that was an academic disaster, I needed something that'd make me feel sort of better. And I got it.

The institute football team ran into crisis mode with many players unable to render their services for the inter-IIT sports meet. And as luck would have it, I was called to join the team. From then on, it was all good. Three weeks of football and nothing else. I think it is quite safe to say that I can now appreciate what a day in the life of a professional sports person is like.

It resulted in me getting to know a bunch of people, each one with a different set of idiosyncrasies and behavioral quirks. I've always liked meeting new people and getting to know them better. And the simple reason for that is that I'm exposed to different thought processes and attitudes.

The team was virtually jinxed what with half the players getting injured and falling sick. Somehow, everything was dealt with and we managed to get through to the knockout stage. The sole strategy employed was "Score and don't concede" and it was kind of too complicated. So we decided to adopt a simpler strategy - "Don't concede". We ended up winning the tournament and the title was defended successfully.

At the end of it all, I have to say there was something about the team that made all of us tick. And there is something about football.

2007-01-03T22:57:00.000+05:30

Sometimes I wish I could spend more time with dad, mom and sis.

An interesting conversation(?)

2006-11-10T20:41:00.000+05:30

This happened yesterday evening. A couple of my friends and I were planning to go have some coffee after a long session of studying. Just when we were about to leave, some of my wing-mates came out to kill time. What followed was one of the funniest and most interesting debates I've seen in a long time.

It was about free electives to start off with. A short version of the debate is presented here.

M: Macha, I'm wondering what free elective I should take next semester. I found some courses interesting but they are being offered by stupid professors. So I think I'll just take another CS elective.

Everyone including S : What a desp fucker you are da!

M: Hey! What the hell! What is wrong with...

S: Hey the whole point of a free elective is to give you an opportunity to explore different fields of studies and to widen your perspective...

M: But I found out about all the courses and they are all crappy. I'm not interested in any of them.

S: How do you know if you're not interested in them before doing them?

M: I know my interests better than you. Go fuck off. I spoke to people about all the courses.

S: You inquired about ALL the courses? I mean. ALL the courses?

M: Yeah

S: Who did you ask and what did you find out?

M: I asked everyone. Seniors and all. They said the profs are not good. So I'll take the CS course. CS dept. is stud.

S: Macha don't be so uni-dimensional da. Try to explore different fields. What shit.

M: Who the fuck do you think you are? Some pseud boy? You're not some 60 yr old person who has the experience.

S: All the 60 yr olds I've met have asked me to explore different avenues and appreciate them. The next time you tell me I'm a pseud boy I'll kick your ass. So try to get a better perspective of life.

M: I'm not like you. I don't want to float around. I know where I want to go. Go talk to Pandu. (LOL)

S: Listen to what I'm saying da. The whole point of a free elective is to get to know more about totally unrelated fields.

M: Why the hell do you want to divide CS courses into a separate category? It's also knowledge.

S: Ya but you have a lot of time after your undergrad. to study all that.

M: Life's not short. I have all the time to learn about other subjects.

S: What are you saying da? I'm just telling you to choose something apart from your major.

M: No. I want to learn all about CS first. So I'll take CS electives. They are too stud.

S: What a dog you are!

M: I am DOG. What the hell is your problem...

And thus it ended.

Coincidence?

2006-11-02T23:51:00.000+05:30

I am sleeping in my room at around 12.30 in the afternoon after a heavy lunch. I set the alarm to ring at 1.50 so that I'd be able to get up on time for a 2'o clock lecture which I couldn't afford to miss.

Suddenly, I wake up and look at my watch. It's 2.05. I change my clothes, take my bag and run out of my room. I cycle like a mad man and reach the classroom at 2.15. I enter the class, the professor glares at me and I take a seat.

And then I get up.

I look at my watch. It's 2.05. "Oh fuck! Oh! Fuck!" I change my clothes, take my bag and run out of my room. I cycle like a mad man and reach the classroom. I look at my watch. It's 2.15. I enter the class with the professor giving me a stern look. I take a seat.

It is an air-conditioned room. And I am sweating like I 'm being roasted. I'm scared. Really scared.

Crossroads

2006-10-29T20:47:00.000+05:30

I am 20 years old. I can look back at life and quite confidently say that I've had a great time. I've lived in different cities, north and south, and am comfortable with five languages, have a lot of exposure, am at ease with people from different cultural backgrounds, have a huge circle of amazing friends, blah blah blah. But, the picture doesn't look complete. Something seems to be missing and I'm not sure what it is. It's like a void that feeds on itself and it's growing. It's sucking everything gradually and taking me with it. Where to? Don't ask me. I guess that is my problem or rather a part of it.

You know, if you'd come to me about five years back and asked me what I'd be doing five years down the line I'd have given you an answer that is in no way close to what the truth is. If you ask me the same question now, I doubt if I even have an answer to it. I'm at a fork and I don't know which road to take. People talk about how they've always known that they're cut out to be a corporate head honcho, a doctor or any frigging profession for that matter. I don't think I have these brilliant guiding lights that everyone seems to have. In fact, I'm not even sure if they're all hypocrites or if they actually believe in what they're saying.

'Meandering' would be a suitable word to describe the course that life is taking right now. I don't know if I should wait or if I should just plunge into something and convince myself that that's the thing I'm going to do for the rest of my life. If I should wait, I don't know how long I should before 'something' happens. Time is the operational word here. Nobody has enough of it and I'm no exception. Some would ask me to just go where the wind takes me but I don't like that idea.

Crossroads- I need to learn how to deal with them and I need to do it double-quick.

Time flies

2006-10-15T21:53:00.000+05:30

It feels like the semester started just a week back or so.
I find it so hard to believe that it's actually been almost three months.
Parents moved to a new place, second set of quizzes have arrived, the technical fest is over.
Where the hell have I been?

On circumstances, monotony and why destiny sucks

2006-10-15T02:17:00.000+05:30

Many a time during my childhood, I've heard people talk about how some set of circumstances in their lives forced them to take hard decisions. I used to think that it was one of those lines that "adults" love saying just to prove that they're grown up and you're not.

And now I begin to see what they meant, I guess. Sometimes you just can't help but do certain things however much you'd not like to. It's probably due to what they call as unforeseen circumstances. I wonder how life would have been if I'd met the people I know under a different set of circumstances. How would it have been if I'd met people on a different timeline altogether? How would it have been if I hadn't met some people at all? It's near impossible to predict the different courses one's life would have taken.

But then, given an opportunity to live some part of our lives again I think most of us would take the same decisions again.

I've yet again reached that stretch of life when everything seems to move past you very quickly and you just end up wondering as to what just hit you. I know people will ask me to shift to the slower lanes and then gear up to get back into the highway, but the nagging feeling just doesn't fade. I don't seem to find satisfaction in the activities I do and am restless all the time. Somehow, voices in my head keep telling me I haven't found my calling yet. I don't know if it is just a passing phase as many would want me to believe or if it'll go away at all. I'm just driving on a road and taking turns here and there without following any underlying pattern, I drive on and on but seem to have forgotten the destination. Did I ever know it to forget it? I'm not particularly sure.

It's the third year of the stupid academic cycle involving quizzes and exams and everything seems to be stuck in a rut. The same old shit. Of course I am doing some interesting stuff that I haven't attempted before but the core remains the same.

And like I've always said, destiny sucks! Bigtime. It's damn frustrating when people just get fucked up in their lives for no fault of theirs. When a twelve year old loses his mom, you just don't know what to feel for him. When you think about how he can't even understand the magnitude of what hit him it makes it worse. Again, poeple say that one has to surrender to fate. Fate is probably among the four-letter words I hate the most.

Oh well! I guess these "unavoidable circumstances" are actually unavoidable.

Reservation for the non-hirsute

2006-07-24T23:35:00.000+05:30

I was reading the newspaper today morning when my eyes fell upon an extremely ludicrous report.

The headline - "Baldies grow bold, form association"

I read it out of curiosity, and found out that bald people in Jamshedpur, Jharkhand have formed an association to "teach a lesson" to the hirsute majority who mock them. The association has been christened "Ganja Ekta Union." They've even warned that anyone passing snide remarks about their baldness will be sued. According to the association president, Kishan Khanna, they'll not only sue them but also take up the issue with the central and state governments.

Believe me, it's true!

"We've formed the organization to teach a lesson to those who mock us. We can take them to court. No one is born bald. It's a biological disorder. People cast glances that make them(bald men) feel as if they're from another planet," said Mr. Kishan. They plan to open chapters in other districts of Jharkhand.

By this time I'm already laughing my ass off. I read on.

"Bald people should be given reservation in jobs on the lines of handicapped and dalits, as employers avoid appointing bald people in their offices. This is an injustice," Khanna complained.

Ok. That's it. I'm going nuts. And then came the killer.

The association is planning to hold a national conference of bald people in October. "We want to invite (bald) film actors like Anupam Kher, Prem Chopra and others to the conference," said association secretary Mohd. Shabbir Khan.

Er, What can I say?! What has the world come to?!

Boxed in ?

2006-07-23T01:35:00.000+05:30

I was watching the second season of The Contender series on AXN. For those who don't know, it is a reality television series which follows a boxing tournament. I remember watching a few fights the last time around, too. The primary reason I was watching was that I was bored and had nothing else to do. But then, I do enjoy watching some of the fights.

Like everyone I like the fights where the contestants push themselves to the limit and just ram each other like crazy. The speed at which they land their punches and parry blows is just incredible. Besides, their footwork is something that is just too cool! It's just pure adrenaline. Being a TV show, the producers of the show try to introduce some drama into the whole thing by focusing on the fighters' activities before and after the match. A few emotional moments with their families (read kissing and hugging wives/girlfriends/fiancees and talking to kids), a few minutes where their coaches try to pump them up and all and interviews after the match and stuff like that. Obviously I don't care about all this drama bullshit. Give me the fights and I'll be happy. But then I'm not the one producing the show.

So, I was watching it and my father came by. He looked at it and made a statement. He said that boxing and similar sports are just totally unnecessary in the civilized world. As in he saw no sense in humans smashing up each other. I liked watching it and immediately wanted to counter it. But all I could say was a weak "It's also a sport, just like any other sport." Apart from that I just couldn't find anything. But then I thought about how every sport was just some kind of entertainment and most of it was actually quite pointless. Actually I just went into the whole 'life is pointless' routine. Yeah. I go into it quite often.

But then, in other sports you don't actually go and friggin bash up someone to win. Though I know that there are various techniques and strategies involved in boxing, it is about beating the shit out of the other guy and defending yourself while he tries to do the same, ultimately. The sport(?) has its roots some thousands of years ago. But back then, it was predominantly slaves fighting among themselves to gain the favour of their masters. It just evolved to the current form where everyone fights everyone.

I thought about the gladiators fighting to death in the huge roman arenas and amphitheatres with huge crowds cheering them on and the king watching them from his throne. It is interesting to notice that things haven't changed much at all in so many centuries. There is still a spectacular arena (god knows how many millions went into building them) with the boxing ring in the middle and a huge crowd of spectators. Only, people fight with padded gloves, headgear and other protective accesories. And it is not a duel to death.

We've made amazing progress in terms of technology, science and living standards. But then, the raw animal instincts and a few basic human traits like the will to establish our superiority over others, etc will never leave us. We have devised various means to suppress them to a large extent but they still exist. The basic gamut of emotions is still very much the same as it was a thousand years ago, I guess and it'll probably never change.

Where are we headed?

2006-07-19T23:52:00.000+05:30

The previous post was my immediate reaction to the ban(?) on several sites by our government. It was out of sheer frustration and anger. More information on the situation here.

One main point here is that the government hasn't issued any public statement regarding this yet. So, all of us are still very much confused as to whether it is in fact a formal government directive or whether it is some problem at the ISP level.

The immediate issue was that we couldn't access the blogs and sites. But then there is an immediate solution to that. Use anonymous proxy servers till the ban is lifted,that is if it is going to be lifted. Another concern here is that if the government decides not to ease the ban, then I'm sure more stringent measures to block the access completely will follow.

There is a provision in our constitution, under the Right To Information Act (2005), which allows us, citizens of India, to ask for information regarding the governance. Quite a few bloggers have already applied for information and I'm sure many will follow suit. But then there is a clause which permits the government to withhold information especially in case of a threat to national security. Get all the details here. This could very well mean that we'll never know what sites are directed to be blocked and for what reason they've been blocked.

The next, and more important, concern is the infringement on the freedom of expression, which we are entitled to in our democratic(?) setup. The enforcement of a ban on blogs or for that matter any site regardless of the content is a very direct blow to the concept of freedom.It is an extreme form of censorship which indicates that the government has decided that the citizens are not capable of understanding what is right and wrong and what is good or bad for the interests of the nation. In short, they control what we read and what we don't.

According to speculations, some officials have denied that this ban is a result of the recent blasts. Such a statement indicates that the ban is actually a part of the normal governance. Far worse than if it was due to the blasts. We all know about how once something becomes entrenched in the process of governance, it'll eventually become the 'normal' way in which the nation will be governed.

The step taken by the GOI is one that takes us closer to authoritarianism. In fact like I'd mentioned earlier the only other countries where such a ban exists are totalitarian or military regimes. Even though we are the world's largest democracy, the concept of civil rights and liberties just doesn't exist in our country. Just think about how hard it is to get the personal information of an individual in any european country. In India, just about anyone can access anything about anyone.

I'm extremely worried with the progress of things. I'm actually very unsure whether protests by a bunch of bloggers and people who are aware of the situation and care to do something will result in anything. An important factor to deal with here is the apathy and ignorance of the common man when it comes to such issues.

In my opinion the most important concern is what the future is going to be like. With such a precedent, where are we headed?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Update - The blog ban will be lifted in 48 hours. The spokesperson of the Internet Service Providers Association of India (ISPAI) has confirmed that the ISPs misinterpreted the govt. directive which intended to block only a few sub-domains. Phew! Finally!

But this also proves that the government and the ISPs have learnt nothing from the past mistakes (read blocking the whole yahoogroups domain instead of blocking only a particular group back in 2003)

This again highlights the fact that the government is in favour of taking ineffective shortcuts rather than doing something more useful. In fact instead of blocking the sites listed they should've focused on trying to monitor those sites to get some useful information.

Paranoia

2006-07-18T14:22:00.000+05:30

Everyone must have read about the ban on blogspot and geocities sites enforced by the Indian Government for security reasons.

Apparently the DoT has issued orders to all the ISPs in the country to block access to certain sites that were present in a 22 page list prepared by them. But what has happened is that the whole blogspot.com, geocities.com domains have been blocked. The ban , reportedly, was to control the sites that were used by terrorists (read SIMI) to communicate amongst themselves and the sites spewing national hatred. Blocking a few sites can be understood but not hundred thousand of them!

That the government actually thinks that blocking these domains will leave the outfits using them(?) toothless is so damn irritating. By the way, livejournal, wordpress, rediffblogs,etc are not blocked. It is just an indication of the short-sightedness of the people in power. Rotten retards!

With this move India has joined a list of elite(?) countries like Pakistan, China, Iran and Ethiopia which have all enforced bans on blogs. Some government official, on questioning him, reportedly defended the decision and asked the bloggers across the country what they were missing in their lives because of the block. Jesus! What levels of insipidity! He hasn't heard of the concept of freedom, quite obviously.

At the same time the ban supposedly doesn't apply to Andaman and Nicobar and Lakshadweep islands. What the fuck! The islands are filled with Mother Teresa's proteges or what?!.

Although this doesn't have a huge impact on my life, the way the government has gone about dealing with the situation after the blasts is kind of naive. Curbing the freedom of speech of about hundred thousand people (read bloggers) is just not the thing to do! I hate it when the government is engulfed in paranoia. It shows that people who are ruling the roost aren't able to deal with issues with professional maturity and levelheadedness.

I do hope that they realize this and act accordingly. I really wouldn't like the idea that we are ruled by a bunch of three-year-olds in the garb of ministers and politicians.

P.S. - I'm hoping it is just a temporary ban. It does impact my life! :( I'm bloody frustrated.
P.P.S. - You can bypass the block using the site http://pkblogs.com :D

The birthday

2006-07-13T23:00:00.000+05:30

I was thinking about how my life had changed in the last few hours. I had a great time at home, the place I used to live in. I had got those orange pellets, the ones I loved to eat, everyday. All my needs were taken care of and the house itself was like paradise. There were these beautiful plants, which had an amazing symmetry about them, on one side and there were colourful oyster-like objects lying around. One of my favourite pastimes was going into the oysters from one side and coming out from the other side. There was this huge rocky hill on the other side too, it just looked stunning in the night-time, like a dark silhouette painted against the wall. The water was crystal clear and I never felt uncomfortable- there was some big contraption which kept the water clean and kept circulating air.

It was Karthik's twentieth birthday. Although this meant that his sublime teenage years were gone, he was very happy. He had invited his friends Ramya, Charu, Akshay and Deepak to a party at his place. He was very excited. His mom was busy in the kitchen, cooking a nice variety of delicacies for the party. He went to have a bath so as to be fresh when his friends came over. He then wore the new clothes that his parents had bought him for his birthday. His sister had gifted him a wrist watch, one with a broad strap. She had always felt that broad straps looked good on boys' wrists. His dad had gifted him something that he had always wanted to have, a fish tank with a nice variety of fish. It was about 9 in the morning. His friends would be there any moment. He sat on the sofa watching the TV along with his sister, waiting for them to turn up.

I miss home. A lot. I miss my friends and the amazing time we had together. We used to play and eat together. We made such a wonderful group, we hardly had any fights. I remember how we had those funny competitions where the one who went in and out of the oysters the most number of times was the winner. I had even won once. Oh! It was so much fun. Everything was going on so well until the day I was taken to a small cell and finally, after a few days, I was asked to come here for some unknown reason.

There was a knock on the door and Karthik could hear some giggling noises on the other side of the door which meant that his friends had arrived. He opened the door and ushered them in. All his friends took turns wishing him a happy birthday and a wonderful life ahead. Ramya and Charu had got a pair of trendy shoes and a white kurta for him. He was delighted because he had always loved kurtas. Akshay gifted him the book, 'The Great Gatsby', one which he'd always wanted to read but never caught hold of. And Deepak had bought a bottle of apple juice. With that everyone made themselves comfortable and they began planning the day.

I never liked it here. It just wasn't my kind of a place. It was so cramped up that it aroused my claustrophobia. And I didn't have any friends, everyone here were always fighting for food. I lost my appetite, too. I didn't get my orange pellets, instead I was given some blue crystals. I ate a little, distastefully, just to survive. The cloudy water made matters worse. I just lived in one isolated corner of this place. It was hell.

They decided to watch a movie at his place, have a small lunch and then go out for dinner at some nice Chinese restaurant. They watched the movie 'Posiedon' and then had a post-movie discussion. They virtually ripped the movie apart. Then, as they went past the fish tank, on the way to the dining room, Charu stopped to have a look at the fish. She told Karthik that her favourite one was the only gold-fish which was there. Deepak agreed with her and felt that it looked majestic with the glittering scales on its body. There were these other small and colourful fish, with different patterns on them, and then there was this black angel fish, too. It was a nice little fish tank. Karthik gloated about how he'd always wanted to have fish and how he was going to feed them with the special fish food that he'd purchased. He went on about how they gobbled up the tiny balls as soon as they were dropped into the tank. He was not sure whether the special gold-fish food he had purchased was actually for the gold-fish or not, though. He wanted to visit the store to confirm it.

I looked around. My colourful companions in this purgatory seemed perfectly normal. I could see genuine happiness and innocence in them. And there was this black coloured one who looked kind of different from the rest, she just looked angelic. All in all, they had their little groups and had their share of fun, I guess. I was just depressed. I didn't even look as colourful as the others. I was just too plain. It made me feel as though my whole life was submerged in some ruthless conspiracy. I had to do something. It was eating into me gradually and painfully. I just could not take it any more.

Ramya let out a shriek. Everyone ran towards her to see if she was ok and if everything was all right. She just pointed at the gold fish that had somehow just plopped out of the tank when she was running her fingers along the tank. Karthik rushed to pick it up, Deepak ran to fetch a mug of water. They finally put the struggling fish back in the water but in vain. It'd been out of the water for too long. Ramya just burst out into tears. Everyone consoled her saying it wasn't her fault and that fish usually tend to plop out if there was a jerk on the tank or something. Karthik's parents suggested that they carry on to have dinner. After all, it was his birthday, a day which is supposed to bring joy and happiness to one's life. They all went out and had a nice dinner and the matter of the majestic gold fish was forgotten.

We will never let them win

2006-07-12T21:27:00.000+05:30

The 11 July 2006 Mumbai train bombings were a series of seven bomb blasts that took place on the Suburban Railway in Mumbai (formerly Bombay), India's financial centre and largest city. An additional bomb was also found, but defused, at the Borivali station. The blasts claimed at least 200 lives, and more than 700 injuries.

This is the current news that is being flashed all over the world since yesterday. It is a very tragic news but then, I think about how many times we've heard similar happenings occur in the last two decades. It is kind of appaling that the terror attacks have become part and parcel of our life here and how we treat them as though they are just some more pieces of news.

Every year there are at least two such incidents and every time a blast occurs in, say, Mumbai, our government decides that the nation's security has been compromised and decides to 'beef up' security in all the other cities, thereby putting them on a 'state of high alert' - Bangalore because it is the IT hub and terrorists are supposedly targeting the city all the time, Delhi because it is the capital, Ahmedabad because it is a sensitive place, Chennai, Kolkata and so on. This 'beefing up' essentially means the deployment of around hundred policemen in every railway station and frisking motorists and what not. In the mean time, two or three ministers fly in executive class to the blast site to 'assess the situation quickly' and they invariably decide to provide 'ex-gratia compensation' to the victims' families by paying some amount of money. The fact that they have been scarred for life is important but not that important. Also, the media descends in full force, hungry for sound bites, pictures and video footage. Yes. We Indians love to broadcast live footage of mutilated bodies, weeping relatives, stranded babies, overflowing hospitals and their staff struggling with the sudden influx of patients, etc. all over the world. All the countries in the world including the 'nations harbouring terrorists' issue public statements condemning the blast and offer their 'whole-hearted, full fledged support to the war against terror.'

The left party or any other party supporting the ruling party will soon raise their concern over the 'intelligence failure' which led to the blasts and will come up with statements like "The central and state governments must not spare any effort to track down the perpetrators of the heinous crime and take steps to eliminate the network sustaining the terrorists who indulge in organised fanatical operations." They also organize rallies to condemn the attack that poses a 'threat to the fabric of our democracy and sovereignty' and hold meetings to defer their protests over other issues like anti price-rise, disinvestment, etc. The Prime Minister will be busy reviewing the blasts that took place in Srinagar or wherever and usually prepares a speech to address the nation with. He compliments the citizens for returning to normal (my ass) lives soon and then moves on to say stuff like this.

"The war against terror will be won, no one can make India kneel."

"This is not the first time that the enemies of our nation have tried to undermine our peace and prosperity. These elements have not yet understood that we Indians can stand united. That we will stand united. They have not yet understood that we will never let them win."

"Mumbai stands tall once again as the symbol of a united India -- An inclusive India."

"Let me say, no one can make India kneel. No one can come in the path of our progress. The wheels of our economy will move on. India will continue to walk tall, and with confidence."

Yes, the fact that the terrorists have succeeded in bombing cities all around the country consistently every six months during the last decade doesn't mean that they have won. Also forget the fact that the US hasn't faced any terrorist attack ever since the WTC attack. The fact that every time our intelligence fails and the terrorists succeed in organizing very well planned (probably months of planning) attacks doesn't mean they have won. They have just killed around 200 people and injured another 1000 or so but they've forgotten that there are more than a billion people in India. So they haven't won. Or may be the reason is that we've had so many bloody attacks that they no longer induce terror in us. They cannot make India kneel.

And all the bloody time, the intelligence, CBI and the police are still 'clueless' and continue to 'probe the blasts' and point suspicious fingers at Al-Qaeda, Dawood, Maharashtra ministers, ISI, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Cindy Crawford, Britney Spears, etc. They are probably just waiting for some terrorist organization to 'claim responsibility' for the blasts.

All this happens and the 'Flash news' is on air 24x7 for the next two weeks on all news channels with some milkman in Orissa being interviewed for his opinions on globalization, Indo-US relations, etc., each MP blaming the other MP or the police or the CBI and so on.

Then the threat just disappears and the states are back to their pathetic low alert states and the India that cannot be terrorized fades back to normalcy, ready to face another terror attack.

P.S.- I know I shouldn't be playing the blame-game and all. But, come on! I'm just fucking pissed. I can't do much either.

Magic Moments

2006-07-10T10:26:00.000+05:30

A lot has been said about how a few moments shape our lives and destiny. Over the last few years of my life I've witnessed a lot of events that reiterate this fact. The moment could occur anywhere. It may be in our own backyard or in front of millions of people. But it happens. And then things change. All in a matter of a few seconds.

There are times when you meet a new person and you're just having a conversation when suddenly both of you share a moment. It could be anything, a joke, a smile or that little fraction of a second when you meet the other's eyes. That moment tells both of you that you are going to hit it off well. Those few seconds could well be the foundation to a lifelong friendship.

Talking about friendship, let me move on to relationships. There is that moment, the inevitable moment which could break the beautiful relationship that has been going great since several years. You would probably do anything and everything to get one more chance but the moment is gone and what's lost is lost. And there are those amazing few seconds when you realise you've found the one for you, the person you want to live the rest of your life with.

The moment you know you've passed the hard exam, the few seconds after you've been selected in the job interview, the moment when you lose your head and do something that you'll regret for life, the fraction of a second that breaks a person's well established hard-earned trust in you, the moment when you fall for someone, that brilliant volley that tells you it's your day, the flash of brilliance after which nothing can stop you, the moments after you have won the world cup. They change everything. You are a new person after that. The world is a different place after that.

Yesterday I saw the world cup final between France and Italy. It was such an agony to watch Zinedine Zidane, the greatest football player of the last decade, known for his professional patience and calmness, do something utterly ridiculous and unnecessary, only to be sent off. The whole world was stunned. He would not be allowed to receive his silver medal after the last match of his illustrious career. It was the moment of sheer madness and frustration that took his exit from the international arena from the greatest heights of glory to utter disgrace. I was very disappointed. One question that came to my mind - Why Zizou? Why?

But then it's all about moments, those that make or break our lives. The few seconds that govern all the events that unfold after that. They're magic moments, indeed.

The outsider

2006-06-25T03:37:00.000+05:30

I was sitting in the balcony of my house letting my mind drift away in no particular direction. I just kept thinking.

The other day, I'd just finished the weekly room-cleaning routine when my close friend Rohan came over. He looked extremely happy and excited. He gave a cursory look over my room and deemed it spotless. I smiled. I mean. All that effort put in had to pay off. Nobody could deny that. Then he said "I have some awesome news dude and you're the was the first person I'm telling it to." I was curious. Naturally. So I asked, "What is it?" He replied "I got the job man! They are paying me 7 lakhs! " It was the job he'd always wanted. The Citibank dream-job. I thought of what to tell him. I mean. I've got to tell him something. I am expected to feel overjoyed. I don't know. Perhaps he'd want me to jump with joy or hug him or something. But there I was, feeling nothing. Absolutely nothing. I smiled, shrugged and let out a little laugh. That was how I reacted when I didn't know how to react to something. With that I did what I was expected to do. I congratulated him, did the usual pat on the shoulder and hug routine, and put on the cloak. The cloak of happiness. In the hyper-excited state that he was in, I hoped he didn't notice all this. He went on and gave me all the details about his job and all and I was just laughing sheepishly and nodding now and then. Then he left.

I kept thinking about what had happened and I remembered something else. An incident that had happened a couple of years back.

I was in my room watching TV and I heard someone come into my room. It was my friend Amit. He walked in slowly, his head tilted low and it was as if it was a great effort for him to even walk. He looked like somebody had died. Really. I said, " Hey what's up man? Why do you look like somebody died?" and laughed. And he just burst into tears. I was baffled. I mean. What the hell did I do? He said "My sister. She was killed in an accident an hour back." Oh my! That just threw me totally off guard. I had to feel something atleast now. I must probably feel guilty about saying what I had. I was trying so hard to feel something. But then I just ended up shrugging and I almost let out that little laugh. Would you believe it! I was about to laugh after hearing that my friend's sister had just died. Immediately, I tried to bring a sympathetic or emphatetic or whatever expression on my face and consoled him saying " I'm sorry. Really. It must be really hard on you. I hope your parents are ok." I mean. I didn't really know what I should be saying. Then I hugged him and asked him to be strong and something and he left. I still didn't feel anything. I went back to watching TV. I was supposed to be sad and solemn and all. It was weird.

Then I remembered many more such occasions.

Like the other day when my friend came rushing into my room to show some nice piece he'd written. I read it and just smiled and laughed and gave him a few words of appreciation. Oh well. It must have been something like 'Nice piece dude' or ' Hey good. Keep writing' or maybe ' Oh cool! When did you write it?... Oh I see' or something. I'm sure he felt a little disappointed.

Take this for another instance. I had come back to college after a month long vacation and met all my friends. They were so happy they jumped and hugged each other and I could see the genuine happiness. I was smiling, the vague smile which I put on to show that I was also happy, as I was being hugged by everyone.

On an other day my sister was in tears after failing to get through and exam she had prepared for almost two years. I was just standing there not knowing what to feel or make of it, smiling vaguely. God knows why I was smiling at such a moment. But that was exactly what I was doing.

Even on the day my girlfriend broke up with me, all I could manage was the vague smile and laugh. I still remember her saying that I was always like that and that I'd never really loved her. It was like I was just watching myself stand like a rock in front of my girl who was going through an emotional roller-coaster.

I asked myself what sort of a guy I was. I mean, really. I'm sure one could discover more emotions on a stone than on my face. Had I lost the ability to feel or something?! Why was I like this? Am I some vague floating entity in this world where people are alive and feel stuff?! It was like I just didn't have those parts of my brain in place. The parts that make one feel stuff. I should feel bad about not being able to feel! Surely.

I just shrugged and laughed.

A world within a world

2006-06-05T21:54:00.000+05:30

It was a pretty normal morning with the sun up and still rising. I was rusty after a nice, long sleep, as usual. I brushed my teeth, had a little wash, dressed up, and reluctantly left my room. I was on my way to the office for yet another day of work. I got onto the train and and began to read; an activity that somehow helped me to turn the adversity into something useful, and more importantly delightful. I got off at the Park station and made my way across the road to the Central railway station from where I was to catch a second train.

I was walking on the sidewalk with a lot of office-goers and industrial workers hurrying past me. There was always a huge rush and I hardly noticed the other passers-by. It was then that I noticed an old woman, clad in a crumpled and shabby saree, coming in the opposite direction. She raised her hand, pointing it at the sky and kept muttering something that I couldn't quite grasp. She had this look on her face which left me in doubt as to whether she was angry, frustrated or deeply anguished. There was a pain in those eyes that I would probably never be able to comprehend in my lifetime. Something really terrible must have happened to her; she seemed like she had gone through the worst kind of suffering in her life. I was kind of unsettled as I went past her. I looked back only to find her still pointing at the sky and muttering the same thing. I began to feel strange. There was something about her that moved me. I tried to occupy myself with something lighter but the vague sensation didnt leave me. And I couldn't place the feeling.

I reached the Central station and went to buy the ticket for the next train. I got my ticket and was walking to the platform where my train was to arrive. I was stopped by a very thin, old man dressed in a dirty white lungi. He asked me to lend him two rupees. I usually don't encourage begging, hence just glared at him and went ahead. He continued asking other people in the station for two rupees. Again, I was vaguely disturbed. I thought I'd seen the same pain in this old man's eyes, too. The strange sensation now got stronger. I was baffled and at the same time a little anxious. Why was I so disturbed?

It struck me all of a sudden. I had seen the woman and the old man yesterday as well. In fact, I remembered I'd seen them daily. And I shuddered when I realized I'd seen them do exactly the same thing all these days. They were insane! They lived in their own world - very different from and yet scarily intertwined with our world. It was a world within a world.

I wondered how a person can lose his senses altogether and become insane. I tried to convince myself that it was because of a medical condition resulting from either injury, depression, anxiety or some post-traumatic stress disorder. But then, what if that wasn't the case. How could I be sure that they were insane and did not have any rationale behind their apparent abnormal activities? How could I be sure that I was the sane one and not them?

I pondered the topic for a while and then realized that it was a futile pursuit. I would never be able to verify my sanity or their insanity. Madness is, in fact the condition when no one else in the world understands you but yourself! I'd never have a glimse of their world - the world within their heads. Because if I ever reached the point where I understood them and their warped logic, I would be insane too! I was a little scared at the thought of such a prospect. This fear, I concluded, was what had perhaps caused that spine-chilling sensation.

I couldn't have agreed more with George Orwell when he said "Sanity is statistical"

A matter of expression

2006-06-04T00:39:00.000+05:30

Every living being on the earth has some means or the other to express itself. As humans we have various ways of expressing ourselves. Being a human myself, let me focus on humans.

A person can share his feelings with others through various modes. For example, speaking, making physical gestures, making eye contact, writing, playing and/or composing music, dancing, the list is endless. Heck, one may communicate his feelings by just being with someone doing nothing at all.

But then, why is it that not everyone can effectively express themselves in all these ways? Some people dance well, some people draw and paint well, some are excellent at music, others at speaking or writing. Is it something that is intrinsic or is it something that the person acquires because of his environment? That is to say, are things like the way he was brought up, the friends he has and everyone he meets and interacts with, where he lived, incidents that happened in his life,etc completely responsible for his being good at a particular mode of expression? Honestly speaking, I am not sure as to what it is.

Yet, I think we're all born as equals and that the deciding factor is the surroundings. Some people criticize this point of view by saying that it can never be verified; because one cannot provide the same environment to two people at the same time. I'd still go with this school of thought because I don't really like the idea of our lives being determined completely by some sort of arrangement of chemicals. I wouldn't like to believe that we're destined at birth to be good at some things and not good at other activities. The destiny theory just gets to me. Big time. There just has to be something else to it.

I recently wrote a post in my blog because I just felt like writing something. One of my close friends read it and told me writing is just not my way of expression. She told me I was impenetrable through the post and that it was extremely formal. Bluntly speaking, it meant that I hadn't written well. I wonder if I'll ever be able to write "well". But again, I wrote it. And I am one who is of the opinion that any activity that a person does can be traced back to the person's state of mind given that one knows certain basic principles of psychology, which I believe apply to almost everyone on this planet. It is something that set me thinking about all this.

Can one can reach any level of ability at a chosen activity by sheer hard-work and determination? Or does one need to "have it in him" to be good at it? I'd choose to think that one can possibly attain a good degree of ability at a given activity, provided one devotes enough time and energy to it. I may be wrong but what's the harm in giving it a go? Here, people tell me that I'll probably end up being mediocre at it and that there is no point in putting in so much effort. But in my opinion, this point of view may lead to disastrous consequences. One may not pursue an activity that one likes simply because of the apprehension that shrouds him as to whether he'll be good at it or not. And there are the matters of interest and want as well.

Heck, if one likes to do something I believe there is absolutely no harm in going ahead with it, even if he's not great at it. Does everyone who writes have to be a Maugham or a Shakespeare or something! Does everyone who plays football have to be a Pele or a Maradona! I believe one should strive to get better at what he likes to do or what he does because it is the only way ahead as I see it. If one is happy doing something, however bad he may be at it, he should go ahead with it keeping in mind that there is always time for improvement. As George Bernard Shaw would like to put it, A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. I sincerely believe in the fact that no one is born a genius.

I don't know if I've conveyed the exact idea that bugs me but I think I've given a decent idea of what it is.

Ah! The pleasure of groundnuts!

2006-05-31T22:07:00.000+05:30

I was walking down the sidewalk of the road, on my way back after a tiring day at work, carrying my office bag on my shoulders. The weather was positively amazing and I could feel the gentle, cool breeze caressing me.

As I continued sauntering along, the air began to get humid, the dark nimbus clouds invaded the clear sky and I could just about see the faint glow of the sun behind them. Perhaps it was going to rain.

As I made my way through a lot of people, who were hurrying with, I thought, intentions of escaping the rain lest they should get wet, I noticed the evening traffic whizz past me on the road. Then, I could sense in the air the unmistakable aroma of fried groundnuts. This seemed to rejuvenate my spirits for I truly loved groundnuts. I kept wondering if I was just imagining things until I came across the stall from which that gentle fragrance emanated. And I was right. The vendor was selling groundnuts, indeed.

I asked him for a packet of nuts, with a pinch of salt in it, and paid him two rupees. I watched as the vendor deftly made a cone out of one of the newspaper bits he had and filled it with groundnuts. Boy, Did I feel refreshed!

I continued strolling back towards home, packet in hand, eating groundnuts one by one. There was a light drizzle and the air was filled with the faint fragrance of moist mud. Two rupees well spent, I was a happy man.

On factories, interns, and insights

2006-05-31T21:00:00.000+05:30

I’d like to say something about my stay as a part of my two month long internship in the midst of my holidays at ITC Ltd.

The ITC factory is a testimony to the great advantages of specialization at different levels. It is the packaging and printing division of ITC; it manufactures a plethora of products that include cigarette boxes, biscuit wrappers, alcohol cartons, beverage boxes, and mobile phone boxes. These products are then sent to the other ITC units and other factories, where the actual goods like cigarettes and biscuits are manufactured. There are a large number of machines, each one performing specialized operations such as offset printing, gravure printing, cutting, creasing, folding, gluing, bundling, wrapping, and packing in this hi-tech factory. Essentially all the processes do, what are called value additions to the input cardboard or film.

I, being an intern, am not a great asset as such to the company. I am technically supposed to be working on designing a new substation for their proposed factory expansion and on a project that involves redistribution of the existing loads. But the work so far has been largely mechanical with huge doses of number-crunching and excel spreadsheeting. Among the few incentives that I get, the air-conditioned office has to be mentioned. The only major trouble is commuting, given that it takes a big chunk of my time - four hours every day. The weather in Chennai, horrible as usual, is not helping either, though I must say it has been fairly good the last few days. Even though it may seem to the reader that I’m having a rather unsatisfactory time here, I’d like to point out that there are some interesting aspects and incidents that I have observed during my time here.

The other day, when I was “working” at my desk, which incidentally is right next to my boss’, I noticed that something of a disagreement had broken out between two employees. I gathered, from what I heard, that there was a misunderstanding regarding a certain customer’s demand for dispatch of goods. An employee who was supposed to be in-charge of the deal had to go abroad for some other reason. The two other employees began blaming each another for being non-committal and were shouting at each other. The others in the office, who had for so long quietly observed this altercation, decided to intervene and put the banter to an end so that they could get on with their work. The situation faded back to normalcy though one could unmistakably sense a little tension in the air. But then what happened after a couple of minutes was really encouraging to watch, considering that I was just an inexperienced trainee. The same employees, who had gotten themselves into quite an embarrassing situation just moments ago, began to discuss another deal in good spirit and humour, as though nothing had happened between them. It was extremely pleasing to watch this; their professionalism, experience, inter-personal and conflict resolving skills are commendable and admirable.

A couple of days back, when I was being escorted to the sites of various machines so that I may take down their load ratings by an electrician, I noticed something very amusing. The factory has a “hi-tech” security system wherein access to different areas is controlled by doors which open only on flashing the correct proximity card. But the electrician, though he didn’t have access to a certain area, managed to thwart the security system using very simple, primitive methods. All he had to do was to switch off the mains in that area and the door, which was perhaps programmed to open on power failure to prevent suffocation of people inside, opened.Talk about tight security.

I also noticed that the company has a few interesting organizational schemes which help in increasing production and efficiency. There are lots of, what are called, one-point lessons, for the simple reason that they are one line instructions, on most machines and at different stages of production. This works mainly to reduce human error. Apart from this they have a suggestion scheme, wherein there are suggestion boxes placed in various areas of the factory to get employee feedback and suggestions. It works fairly well, with employees having a rating based on the number of suggestions they made and the rate of implementation of the same. Yet another scheme is known as TPM ratings. It stands for Total Productive Maintenance. Corny as it may sound, it works very well, considering the element of competition it introduces, and the various teams work towards improving their ratings and hence improving the overall efficiency as well.

On the whole, the factory is very efficient. This is no wonder when you consider the fact that the work ethics of the employees are excellent. In fact, most of them work throughout the day even on Saturdays though they are supposed to be half-days. This, again, makes me wonder what motivates these people to work so hard apart from the remuneration they get. I don't quite know if the people really like what they are doing. It is due this, I presume, that I wonder if I'm ready for such a life and whether the kind of time and enthusiasm we have at our disposal will end with our college lives.

I guess the three weeks of my stay in this place haven’t been particularly great. But again, they haven’t been too bad either, considering that the stay gave me quite a few new insights and a better perspective of the world,life and work as such.

The magic dragon

2006-05-28T23:49:00.000+05:30

The weather was amazing outside. The wind jerked the chime above my balcony door to life, sang its arrival, and pestered us to go upstairs. My mum and I finally decided to go up. I walked a few times around my terrace; the usual exercise after dinner. The wind was blowing past me, through me, for I didn't even notice it when I walked. Later when I thought about it, I figured it was because I had a purpose.

Then it struck me. The wind did too. I lay down, eyes to the sky, ears to the wind. A huge carpet hung over my head. It was thick at parts, thinning at some, and almost torn at the rest. As I looked at it, it kept changing. It was trying to fill its holes. But everytime one got filled, another grew somewhere. Some conservation must have been happening.

It wasn't even where the holes were that was interesting. It was how the holes kept moving.The contours of the boundary of the holes sucked my imagination in. I mustn't say imagination. Because all the curves always seemed to form a dragon in my head. Dragons flying, spitting out fire, lashing out their tongues and paws. Dragons always.

I couldn't quite understand why I always percieved the shapes to be dragons. Maybe because I've seen none? But that can't be the reason. I haven't seen a host of things that I've heard about. Maybe it was just that it was so easy to make anything look like a dragon. Any protrusion could be fire, any curves its body. Every dragon bent itself around the clouds that i was seeing.

But I had to put my theory to test. Can I deliberately try to see other things? I tried. I thought of a palm leaf. And looked. And looked. Till I found some long thin clouds. Christmas tree, I thought. A good enough substitute for a palm leaf!

I then thought of a chakra. Couldn't find one. I think it's because I had consciously recognised the fact that all I could see were dragons. Because from then on, all I could see were only dragons.

I wondered what would happen if I got a message. It would've broken the moment. But the thought that I might get one had already broken it. I defocussed.

I defocussed so much that the clouds just formed one big mass. The big picture. I could sense that they were moving past my head, direction being from my bottom to my top. That I deduced from the fact that when I looked at the mass with reference to the stars, that's how it seemed.

A slight shift of focus. On the star. And the star was moving. It unnerved me. Completely. To think that i could focus on one, and it moves with respect to its background. Perception based reality. Scary. I see one so that is true. I see the other so that must be true. If I see both? Then i must believe that there's something wrong with the way i'm seeing. Because there can be but one thing that's true. Atleast that's the assumption.

I noticed something. Everytime I was following one train of thought, there were parallel threads created, strung and left to hang. I had just noticed that while I was doing my dragon testing, I had also concluded that the first few men would have lived in a much more fascinating and fearsome world. Not that the clouds were any different. But what would they have thought about it. Little droplets of water waiting to rain? The idea of gods controlling nature's forces must have struck them. It seemed quite natural to me. And the thread was hanging there when it went through the needle. Not that I had actually done parallel processing. It was an already created thread, it was just hanging around wondering if the needle wanted to use it.

I vowed to myself that I would do this often. While I told myself that I wouldn't. That I wouldn't find time. All these contradictory voices in one's head. Dangerous business, dealing with them. But if one does not consider all of them, can one ever hope to land up at an objective viewpoint? But how does one analyse these voices? Through another voice?

The ancient men were still hanging around in my head. Maybe science has spoilt the world fo us. Maybe science is trying to explain everything and rationalize the magic. Maybe the beauty of the world must be felt. Not explained. Not thought about. But scientists will quite disagree with that. They'll say that by trying to explain events, you enhance its beauty. Because you understand it. Sometimes I feel one way. Sometimes I feel the other. Or maybe I don't feel this way or that. Just think about it. To decide which one to feel.

I was on the terrace for half an hour tonight. I didn't see much, if you came down to it. Nice wind on the terrace. Bit cloudy. A few birds were flying. In formation. Few planes were around. That's about it. If you came down to it.

Some old haikus

2005-06-15T00:00:00.000+05:30

Here are a couple of haikus written when i was in a rather sad mood some months ago.

Drowned I am! in the
Sea of darkness.Hope is all
That i have with me...

And i dont know yet
When the balloon of my hope
is going to burst!

Some places never change

2005-06-12T00:17:00.000+05:30

After going through a particularly nightmarish semester in college it was time for the holidays. Phew! I desperately wanted that break. But then a month into the holidays I started feeling that the time at the college was better off . I was feeling absolutely wasted because I couldnt do anything that I had planned for the holidays. The boredom was killing me slowly.

On a particularly boring day I went to have a coffee with my uncle. As we walked around the streets of the city I suddenly felt something was odd. I kept wondering as we sauntered along on the street. Then it struck me. What was strange was that the place had not changed much at all in the ten years I was away. Everything looked exactly the same as it did years back. It was almost as if I could point to a pothole on the road and say it was there all along. Apart from a huge departmental store that had come up absolutely nothing had changed. The same old houses and the same old people.

As if to reinforce this very fact I noticed one of my grandfather's friends riding the same vehicle that I had seen him ride as a child. The TVS 50 moped - it was just unmistakable and surprisingly the person looked like he had stopped getting old a decade ago. The familiar strands of grey hair on his temples still exactly the same. And the yellow cloth bag that he always used to carry along was still there.

Then we came across this tender coconut shop I vaguely remembered. But then when I saw the vendor it all came back so clearly. God!The guy was still selling coconuts and he looked same too.The same old makeshift hut made out of coconut tree leaves. The same old lump of fresh coconuts on one side and the junk on the other side with houseflies all over it. And we moved along. I could see so many familiar faces and almost every building on the sides of the road was there then, too. I started feeling weird.

Then we reached one of the popular restaurants in the city. We were greeted by the manager of the place. Guess what, he was there a decade back as well. We sat down at the usual table for a coffee. I wondered why the place hadn't changed at all. Had the people not aged? Had time frozen in this part of the world? My lips parted into one of those smiles people give when they feel as if they know everything about the place they are in.

Some places always remain the same. And thats one of the reasons it feels so comfortable to be there. With the same old resourceful friends all over the place and all the relatives it sure is a place where one can live a peaceful life.

It was then that my uncle almost shook me to say it was time for us to return. Damn! Back to the monotonous schedule.Back to the boring holidays. Back to waiting for the college to reopen.